Sikhism- An Introduction Page 9
As the bride leaves home she is given a handful of rice to throw over her shoulder. This is a way of expressing a wish for the happiness of those who have come to see her departure. In India, this dohli ceremony takes place in time for the groom’s party to be able to return to their village before nightfall, but elsewhere, and if, for example, the couple are catching a plane for a honeymoon abroad, other considerations may affect timing. Traditionally, they would go direct to the husband’s village, escorted by the men who had accompanied him in the morning. They would be given a mixture of water and milk to drink by the groom’s mother when they reached his home. They would take seven sips from the jug and so would she.
Inside the house the young people sit on the ground on a white sheet and are given a glass of milk to share. Then the groom leaves the room and his wife is looked over and blessed by her new kinswomen. This can be a traumatic experience but she will hope that some of them remember the occasion when they joined the family, or will be thinking of the day when they will become part of a household of strangers, and will be kind and considerate to her.
A week later, or the next day sometimes in Britain, if there has been no honeymoon, the groom’s family, including the women, will take the bride back to her parents. Now a ladies’ milni will be held with its exchange of clothes, shalwar-kameeze, or maybe saris. The bride will be left for a week or so until, at a prearranged time, her husband returns and takes her to his family. Then their married life really begins.
Ties with the bride’s family will not be severed completely. The story of the young Nanak going to stay with his sister Nanaki and her husband is but one example of many, but there is still a feeling among some parents that they should not be too demanding upon their son-in-law’s hospitality. There is a custom of some women returning to their parents’ home to have their first child, but this is not really a Sikh custom and does not seem normally to be observed in Britain or elsewhere in the dispersion. There is also an understanding that couples may postpone having children for personal and career purposes, whereas in Punjab potential grandparents expect to have their craving satisfied within a year of the wedding. It is not unknown for a bride who is not pregnant on her first wedding anniversary to be sent home to her parents in disgrace and for a divorce to follow. This aspect of Punjabi or Indian culture should have no place among Sikhs who should acknowledge the gift of children as being in God’s hands – and recognize that physically childlessness may be caused by men as well as women.
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THINGS TO REMEMBER
The wedding ceremony may only be brief but it is highly significant as an indication of the two families’ acceptance of the marriage.
A Sikh wedding must take place in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and witnesses.
At a wedding try to be present for milni and other preliminaries. Consider how they bring families together. Milni is especially important for this purpose.
The Lavan, the wedding hymn, uses the union of man and woman to describe the relationship of God and devotee.
True Sikhs fully obedient to the tenets of the faith should have nothing to do with demanding a dowry.
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7
Death
In this chapter you will learn:
about attitudes towards death
about the funeral service
about disposal of the dead.
In many Indian hospitals tender loving care is provided by the family, rather than the nursing staff. The family will camp in the grounds and stay with the patient through much of the day. They will prepare food at mealtimes. The professional nursing staff are there to provide the medical services that they have been trained to give. It has come as a surprise to Britons from the Subcontinent that, in Britain, sometimes strict rules for visiting hours are enforced, that a patient may have only two visitors at a time, and that he or she is expected to eat food prepared in the hospital canteen. Of course, members of the third- and fourth-generation are accustomed to this, having probably experienced it as children, or at the birth of a child. They may well be unaware of the hospital regime in their ancestral homeland. For elderly people in Asian communities, their first hospitalization can be a more than usually traumatic experience.
Should death be the end of the medical process, families expect to be with the person who is dying and to remain with the body for some time after death. To be removed while last attempts are made to maintain life, only to be informed that they have been unsuccessful and the loved one is dead, can make the family feel that they have failed in their duty. Sikhs should gather at the bedside to console themselves and the departing soul by reading verses from the scriptures, especially Sukhmani, the beautiful Psalm of Peace, to use the title given by many translators. It gives the assurance that anyone who meditated sincerely upon God’s name will not suffer rebirth, but will live eternally with God.
In India, the body would be cremated on the day of death, so long as the ceremony can be decorously performed before darkness falls.
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Insight
Post-mortems are greatly disliked by Sikhs. They seem to be a violation of the body of a loved one and they prevent funeral preparations being made.
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Funeral rites
Death, when it comes, should not be an occasion for hopeless grief and loud wailing, though the lamentation that accompanies many Sikh funerals can be distressing to the outsider, especially a stiff-upper-lipped Brit. Sikhs believe that death marks the transition from a life in which the knowledge and experience of God may sometimes be obscured by worldly cares and distractions, to one in which the joy of being in the presence of God eternally can be fully realized. As a line of the Guru Granth states:
The dawn of a new day is the herald of a sunset. Earth is not your permanent home. (AG 793)
The beautiful hymn Sohila, which Sikhs should use in their evening devotions, sets out the aims of life as follows:
Know the real purpose of being here, gather up treasure under the True Guru’s guidance. Make your mind God’s home. If God abides with you undisturbed, you will not be reborn (AG 13)
The evidence for a life beyond the present one lies for the Sikh in such assurances as these, in the belief that the Gurus themselves were living in the divine presence when they were commanded to resume a human form to preach God’s message to humanity, and in personal experience. Some people become jivan mukt, that is they attain liberation while still in their human bodies. This is considered the logical conclusion of the Gurus’ emphasis upon God as immanent. Sikhs speak of a relationship with God that they can not envisage as ending at physical death. God’s love is eternal.
Funeral services should proclaim the hope and promise of eternal life. Sorrow is natural but the mourners should be reminded of the fuller life that the departed now enjoys.
Figure 7.1 Sikhs usually act as pall-bearers at funerals and carry out as many of the cremation ceremonies as possible themselves. It is the last opportunity to show respect.
Sikhs tend to prepare the body themselves and dress it in the five Ks. This is done in many areas of the dispersion by arrangement with a firm of undertakers who have become accustomed over the years to conducting Sikh funerals. As previously mentioned, the custom in India is to cremate the body on the day of death, unless the time of death was too late for the ceremony to be carried out before evening, which, even in summer, is no later than 5.00 p.m. In Britain the funeral should take place as soon as possible after death.
In rural Punjab ‘Vahiguru Sat Nam’ is repeated and hymns are sung as the procession walks to the cremation ground. In the West, these are chanted at home and in the gurdwaras by the congregation. The coffin remains open so that last respects may be paid. The Sikh Code of Conduct lays down the order of service, which should therefore be the same in general terms throughout the world:
The dead body is washed and clothed (complete with the five symbols) before it is taken out on a bier to the
cremation ground. The procession starts after a prayer and sings suitable hymns from the Guru Granth Sahib on the way. At the cremation ground the body is placed on the pyre, the Ardas is recited, and the nearest relatives light the pyre. When the pyre is fully ablaze, someone reads Sohila and offers prayers for the benefit of the dead. Then the people come away, and leave the relatives of the deceased at their door, where they are thanked before departing.
In Britain and elsewhere where there are public crematoria, the essentials of this instruction are observed though a hearse and private cars, or hired buses are used. Male relatives will act as pall-bearers (Figure 7.1) and help to put the coffin in the incinerator.
After the funeral Sikhs may return to the gurdwara.
Disposal of the dead
Guru Nanak was asked whether the Hindu custom of cremation or the Islamic method, inhumation, was the correct one. He refused to enter into the controversy but did humorously point out that the best clay for making pots seemed to be found in cemeteries, so there was a chance that the decomposed body ended up by being burned anyway (AG 466)! There is a continuing argument among his followers as the story is told that when the Guru was dying those who came from a Hindu background asked for permission to cremate him; the Muslim devotees wished to bury him. Guru Nanak told them to cover his body with a cloth and place flowers by it, the Hindus placing theirs on one side and the Muslims on the other. He said that those whose flowers remained fresh could dispose of the corpse as they wished. In the morning they found both groups of flowers still fresh, but the body had gone! The Guru was indifferent to how the body should be dealt with. The only thing that mattered was the state of the soul. If it had not achieved liberation, its prospects were bleak indeed.
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Insight
Sikhs today tend to accept the custom of the land in which they live. For choice they cremate but in Arab countries where this is not possible they may bury their dead. Some may fly the body back to Punjab.
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British Sikhs sometimes arrange for the ashes of their dead relatives to be taken out to sea and thrown into the water while prayers are said. Leeds Sikhs are an example of a community that has asked for a riverside platform to be erected from which ashes can be cast into a local river. This has met with opposition from environmental groups and local residents who fear, among other things, large numbers of Sikhs gathering for the deposition ceremony. These anxieties are understandable but are not grounded in fact. Sikhs may gather in their hundreds at the crematorium but, in common with the tradition in many other religions, only a few close relatives are likely to be present to scatter the ashes. The issue of river pollution may be real but authorities must be careful to be sure that objections are not merely based on dislike of something new, and therefore strange.
Despite their dislike of post-mortems, Sikhs do not object on principle to the use of organs from dead people to improve the quality of life of the living. Of course, as in all religions, bereaved relatives may refuse because they find the notion of the body of a loved one being mutilated distasteful.
The Code of Discipline forbids ‘the erection of monuments over the remains of the dead’ (p. 17). This is because of the Hindu and Indian Muslim custom of making the burial place of a saintly person a focus of devotion. The sangat can give spiritual as well as physical comfort and moral support. Samadhis, resting places for the remains of devout men and women, encourage practices which Sikhs regard as superstitious.
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THINGS TO REMEMBER
Families expect to be with the person who is dying and to remain with the body for some time after death.
Sikhs believe that death marks the transition from a life in which the experience of God may be obscured by worldly cares, to one in which the joy of being in the presence of God eternally can be fully realized.
Sikhs tend to prepare the body themselves and dress it in the five Ks.
A funeral is often not only an extended family gathering but one involving the whole sangat.
A funeral is usually followed by a reading of the Guru Granth Sahib in the family home.
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8
The Sikh Gurus
In this chapter you will learn:
about the ten human Gurus
about the concept of Guru
about respect for the Gurus.
We have already studied the life of Guru Nanak in examining the beginnings of the Sikh religion. He was the first of ten Gurus. Now is the time to consider their contributions to the development of Sikhism.
The list of the ten Sikh Gurus is as follows:
Guru Nanak
15 April 1469
died 1539
Guru Angad
31 March 1504
Guru 1539–52
Guru Amar Das
5 May 1479
Guru 1552–74
Guru Ram Das
24 September 1534
Guru 1574–81
Guru Arjan
15 April 1563
Guru 1581–1606
Guru Hargobind
14 June 1595
Guru 1606–44
Guru Har Rai
30 January 1630
Guru 1644–61
Guru Har Krishan
7 July 1656
Guru 1661–4
Guru Tegh Bahadur
1 April 1621
Guru 1664–75
Guru Gobind Singh
22 December 1666
Guru 1675–1708
Birth dates are given because these are often celebrated as festivals, especially in the place of the Guru’s birth. Only the deaths of the two martyr Gurus (Arjan and Tegh Bahadur) are similarly commemorated, but now they are usually observed according to the lunar calendar and therefore the Gregorian date varies from year to year.
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Insight
Guru Nanak’s birthday is celebrated in November, following a long-standing tradition that accepted his birthday as occurring on full moon day in the month Kartik (November).
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Guru Nanak began his ministry in about 1499; Guru Gobind Singh ended his in 1708 when he conferred gurasling upon the scripture. The Sikh story is very much that of the achievements of these ten men. It is tempting to ask which of them was the most important but at this point it is necessary to bear in mind a Sikh teaching summed up in a verse from the bards Satta and Balwant who sang at Guru Arjan’s court. They said:
The divine light is the same. The life form is the same [i.e. human].
The King has merely changed his body. (AG 966)
In other words, all the Gurus shared the same ministry, manifested the same teaching and were therefore equal. Sikhs see no difference, for example, between the criticism which Guru Nanak made of the Mughal Emperor Babur’s injustices when he sacked Saidpur, and the militant opposition of Guru Gobind Singh to what he saw as the oppressive regime of the Emperor Aurangzeb 200 years later. The principle of opposition to injustice is the same.
Guru Nanak
Guru Nanak was the first Guru and, as the words of Satta and Balwant indicate, the human source of the teachings of Sikhism. Sikh doctrine is essentially that taught by Guru Nanak. Also, such things as congregational worship and the custom of eating together (langar) can be traced to him. Before he died, Guru Nanak appointed a successor, Guru Angad. Satta and Balwant state that, when he had installed him, Guru Nanak bowed to him. From this one might argue that Guru Nanak regarded Guru Angad as more important than himself. However, what they actually say is:
During his lifetime Guru Nanak made obeisance to his disciple. (AG 966)
By this act, Guru Nanak was publicly affirming the guruship of Guru Angad in the presence of men and women who might have considered supporting one of his two sons.
Guru Angad
Guru Angad finalized the Gurmukhi script in which the Guru Granth Sahib is written, collected the hymns of Guru Nanak, and managed to ward off the challenge of the Guru’s
son Shri Chand, who felt that he should have succeeded his father as leader of the Sikhs. The second Guru was a consolidator rather than an innovator, but the Panth may well have needed that kind of leadership after Guru Nanak’s death. Even though he wrote only 62 hymns, his place within Sikhism is significant.
Guru Amar Das
Guru Amar Das was faced with a growing and widespread Panth. If groups of Sikhs were to be found in most of Punjab, we have to imagine him being responsible for the spiritual development of people living in a region as large as England, in days when there was no public transport and the Mughals were only beginning to develop the important Grand Trunk Road from Kabul to Calcutta, via Delhi. He divided the area where Sikhs lived into 22 manjis or regional groups, each one led by a sangatia. He appointed women preachers, an important step in a Muslim-influenced society where women might not have been permitted to have contact with men outside membership of the family.
He maintained Guru Nanak’s concern with social justice, persuading the Emperor Akbar (1556–1605) to repeal taxes on pilgrims going to the holy site of Hardwar on the river Ganges. On one occasion, Emperor Akbar visited the Guru who made him sit in line with those who were taking food from the Guru’s free kitchen, before discussing religious matters with him. In doing so he introduced the principle of ‘Pehle pangat, piche sangat’, ‘First eat together and then worship together’. By emphasizing the importance of commensality, introduced by Guru Nanak, Guru Amar Das was striking a practical blow against the belief that a person should not take food with someone of a lower caste, women or members of another religion.